My First Roadie (Part One)
Hey everyone! Sorry for the late update. Turns out time really flies and writing about my travels slips by quickly.
So I am currently sitting at the kitchen table of my host-family’s house in Paris, TX. I’ll get back to Paris so I can go chronologically.
This marks week 3 on the road for me after starting my journey in Colorado. The Colorado Open was amazing and I had such a great time. I played with really great girls and the course had 360 degrees of stunning views. Although I missed the cut, I truly learned so much after my first 2 professional rounds. I know you’re probably thinking, “how much could you really have learned in such a short time?” Let me tell you—I shocked myself too.
My dad and I did what we usually do during tournaments, explore! We went to Vail to play The Country Club of The Rockies with the one and only Bill Hughes, Breckenridge for dinner, Colorado Springs, Garden of the Gods, and several local spots around our AirBnb. We truly maximized our week in Colorado!
Yes, I did have a tournament to play. The practice rounds were pretty uncomfortable for me. I played 2 practice rounds, one was 18 holes and the other I bailed after 11. I was getting frustrated and feeling anxious so I decided to back off, get some lunch and re-group. This helped a lot and I left feeling much better than I had arrived.
After the first round I felt pretty content! I can say it was a much better number than I anticipated it being. The second round I woke up and felt pretty anxious all day. I didn’t do anything out of the usual: I did my exercises and stretched, had breakfast, warmed up decently but definitely wasn’t hitting it great. My head was spinning all the way until the 7th hole when we were called off the course for weather. I had time to regroup, try to calm myself down, and get into a “happy space”. After the rain delay, I just couldn’t quite find that “happy space” or shake the anxiety. I was uncomfortable over the ball and far too analytical the rest of the 11 holes. I didn’t finish as strong as I would have liked, but I had my first professional event in the books (even though I missed the cut).
I was disappointed. I wasn’t disappointed because I missed the cut, (lets face it: my first competitive round since March and now I have a paycheck on the line playing against women who have been doing this for years with Tour Status), I was disappointed because I felt like I had so much time to prepare for this yet I still felt unprepared. I was disappointed because I still don’t feel good enough. I know I’m not LPGA ready yet, or even Symetra Tour ready, but it’s hard feeling like you’re “underprepared” for something, even though I know there’s no way to know when I will feel “prepared” to be pro.
Even though I was pretty negative for the following 36 hours after my last round, I was happy and very motivated. After a good conversation with my dad on the way to Amarillo, TX (our stop on the 13 hour drive to McKinney, TX) I had the opportunity to really dig into the meaning of my learning process. I know being able to perform under pressure, execute shots when my game feels “off”, and play with high feelings of anxiety will take time, practice, and patience. I understand this is a long road and it’s only the beginning, but I could not be more excited to keep riding the rollercoaster and learning/growing more as a player and a person.
My next tournament was my first WAPT (Womens All Pro Tour) Event in Anna, TX. Dad and I stayed in the cutest AirBnb house in McKinney, TX, a small town which is absolutely worth a weekend trip if you’re ever in the Dallas area. I felt much more relaxed and less anxious for this tournament. This time, I played a 9 hole practice round on Sunday and the other 9 holes on Monday. This proved to be the much better/energy-saving strategy for the Texas heat. However, before the first round I was hitting the ball like sh*t during my warm up—so bad I considered claiming injury and going home. I knew I wasn’t hitting the ball like sh*t because my swing was “bad”. I knew it was all mental. So I went out during the first round with the mindset of “This is what it is and you can either fight through it or let a bad mental attitude control you.” So I won that battle with my brain. The next 2 days my confidence was much higher knowing I played well despite being mentally weak before I teed off (and consequently hit the ball much better than the warm-up) even though I didn’t feel that my full-swing was “there.” The next two rounds, as always, could’ve each been 4-6 shots lower but I honestly just made a lot of stupid mistakes. Stupid mistakes aren’t really where my game falters but that week it was. I left long putts 7 feet short when I’m known for always hitting it at least 2 feet past the hole. I missed some drives on crucial tee shots, missed some easy looks at birdie. But as a positive, I was giving myself opportunities for birdies and my irons were solid. My 7-feet-and-in putts are dialed in now. I’ve got my driver back on track. I’m definitely feeling good for Paris.
So after my first 2.5 professional weeks on the road I have definitely noticed changes. Dad says (and I’ve noticed a bit) that I’m walking with more confidence. I am managing my mental game much better (ie, not being afraid to go after shots and not getting frustrated when mistakes happen). I am now (re)learning how to play for birdies instead of trying to protect par. I’m not playing with fear but with toughness. It’s going to be a process to get to where I want to be but again, this is only my 17th day being a professional. I have so much more to learn and to adjust to. I’m not going to make every cut—especially not as a rookie (I am also working on being more okay with that). From all the things I have learned, one stands out the most: this really is what I want and I’m so glad I made the decision to turn pro. It’s going to be an absolute hell of a journey but I am as ready as I’ll ever be for it.
That leads me to where I am now! Paris, TX is a very small town about an hour and a half north-east of Dallas. It’s definitely a small town, close-knit community where everyone knows everyone (and their parents, the mayor, the judge, and the secrets). I’m looking forward to teeing off at Paris Golf and Country Club and seeing if I can’t make something of these next few rounds!
Thank you, as always, for bearing with me on this journey and as I get into more of a habit of writing while I’m on the go. It’s harder than I thought it would be!
All my love,
Hannah
PS: the “Eiffel Tower” is super cute, it stands maybe 20 feet tall.
